My Daughter, Kate Erb, Has Inspired Me
-Kelly Phillips Erb
WHAT SPORT IS THIS PERSON INVOLVED IN?
KPE - She's an amateur hockey player (at the high school level).
WHAT HAS THIS WOMAN OR GIRL DONE TO INSPIRE YOU?
KPE - Where do I start?
Kate is a fantastic kid. She is a quick learner and demonstrates wonder about the world around her. But, as a young child, she struggled with being shy. For example, she won an award at the Philadelphia County Science Fair - beating thousands of other kids - but our commemoration of the event was Kate holding her certificate in front of her face. That all changed when she hit the ice. In middle school, Kate discovered ice hockey. She wasn't a natural: she had never had ice skating lessons, and even though her father was a Philadelphia Flyers fan, she had never expressed an interest in watching hockey. But Kate tackled this challenge as she did with all of her challenges: with hard work. She worked at hockey and was awarded the most improved player at the end of her first season. Ice hockey eventually became Kate's "thing." She got faster, and she got stronger. She also found her voice.
But along the way, something terrible happened: she broke her ankle. And when I asked her what happened, she told me that she broke it trying to score - which, to be honest, is absolutely the best reason to break your ankle on the ice. It was what we later learned was called a boot break in the hockey world, and she needed surgery. And while I had a long list of questions, post-surgery, Kate had just one: When can I get back on the ice? It's true that bones require a certain amount of time to mend. But some of the healing, the surgeon explained, was partly up to Kate. And then he gave her a list of rules and explained to her what she needed to do to get back to where she wanted to be. She eventually got better. She started lifting weights - my girl can deadlift about 230 pounds - and she started skating again. She had missed weeks and weeks on the ice. She was behind. However, she wasn't content to stay there. So she worked. She got stronger. She got faster. She got better. And every week, I watched her leave the house without her gear, in her team colors, to go and sit on the bleachers. She wanted to support her team. And I wasn't sure that I would have that kind of dedication. But my kid remembered that she was part of a team. She also continued to put in the work behind the scenes. And it paid off. Her first game back on the ice? She scored. And she scored again. And again. My girl got a hat trick. When hardship hit her, she had an answer.
So that's a pretty amazing story, right? However, it doesn't entirely end there. Because just as Kate got better, her team lost its goalie. And in hockey, it's pretty hard to play without a goalie. And that meant that all of Kate's hard work and all of her personal success wasn't enough. Some players jumped ship. And the coaches didn't think there would be enough players to field a team. So it kind of felt like all of Kate's hard work might be lost. As it turned out, Kate knew a goalie. Only this goalie wasn't an ice hockey goalie: she was a field hockey goalie. And it was her little sister. Even though ice hockey was Kate's thing, she swallowed her pride and asked her sister to play. It was not smooth sailing. They definitely had a big sister/little sister dynamic. And her little sister, Amy, had a huge learning curve - like learning to skate, for example. Kate could have decided that this was a challenge beyond her control. I mean, she had already faced one big obstacle with the break. Maybe she could have decided that one problem was enough in one year. But she didn't. In the first season they played together, they won their division championship - the first time the team did so. And as a senior, Kate helped lead her squad - small as it was - to a second division championship. Ice hockey helped Kate develop self-confidence and independence. She earned the respect of her coaches and her team and learned to become a leader. Today, she is the captain of two teams: her travel team and her school team. We talk a lot about the positive role that sports can play in our lives. And it made a difference in my daughter's life for sure. But along the way, she also taught me a thing or two about persistence, teamwork, and leadership.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE KATE ERB IN ONE SENTENCE?
KPE - Kate always rises to the occasion.
WHAT HAS KATE ERB TAUGHT YOU ABOUT SPORTS, WORK ETHIC, PASSION, OR LIFE IN GENERAL?
KPE - Kate reminds me - every day - about the importance of hard work and not giving up when things become difficult. She’s also a great example of how to be a great friend and an even better teammate - she always remembered, even during her recovery, that she was part of something bigger.
WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON LEVELING THE PLAYING FIELD FOR WOMEN IN SPORTS? WHAT CURRENTLY GIVES YOU HOPE, AND WHAT CHANGES DO YOU THINK STILL NEEDS TO BE IMPLEMENTED?
KPE - When I was a little girl, I played soccer in rural North Carolina. When I was about eight years old, I got smacked in the face pretty hard with the ball. That was the day that my parents decided I was finished with soccer. Girls weren’t allowed to get hurt.
I contrast that with Kate playing ice hockey. It’s a physical sport and she’s been hurt more than once. When she broke her ankle, my first thought was that it was too much to continue. But Kate had different ideas. I think she’s been inspired by those who have come before her to keep moving forward… and that’s why women’s sports will continue to grow. Our girls today see the finish line - and they have opportunities. That said, the opportunities are still not level. Kate’s team played at odd hours because the best ice times were often reserved for the boys. And when their team won their championship, they weren’t celebrated in the same way because they were considered a school club team, not a varsity team. But that’s doesn’t mean they aren’t trying: Kate worked with the yearbook staff to take pictures of the team to make sure that they got the same coverage as the boys.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR OTHERS TO GET INVOLVED, BE INFORMED AND/OR START SUPPORTING WOMEN IN SPORTS?
KPE - It’s easy to ignore what you don’t see. I didn’t even know that girls could play ice hockey until I moved to a community where I saw girls on the ice: now, I’m a bona fide hockey mom. And my girls’ biggest fans? My 70-something-year-old mom and my 80-something-year-old mother-in-law. Women working hard and succeeding? That transcends all ages.
FINISH THE SENTENCE ABOUT KATE ERB - “SHE IS ____.”
KPE - Amazing